I was out for dinner this evening with some lovely ladies from church. It was our mothers’ group dinner. We get together for dinner from time to time outside church environment. And, it is usually kids-free, just like tonight.

Not many ladies turned out, but it was a nice group of us. The food was good and so was the company. Our conversation topics ranged from kids to work to hobbies to parenting to friends to kids …. yes we can’t stop talking about our children! I have to say, it was good talking with the other mothers at the same stage as me — having young children and working. I am definitely not alone in all my struggles. I really thank God for blessing me with this group of friends.

I am the coordinator of the mother’s group at my church. This has been my ministry since last year. We meet every fortnight for a time of study, sharing and praying. Through time, I have grown to know the ladies well and vice versa. There is a support system going on amongst us. I like that.

Many friends have asked me how I do it — as in, how do I juggle between work, home, kids and coordinating the mother’s group. My answer has always been “God’s grace”. I have to admit that there are times when I feel drained, disappointed and an urge to pass the baton on to someone else. I guess my feelings are not uncommon when it comes to being in ministry amongst people. There is definitely some form of sacrifice. Somehow, when I feel down each time, God teach me a valuable lesson, or He would send a friend to push me on. When I regained strength, I become more sure of myself and the ministry that I am in. And, tonight, seeing all my friends at the table with me having dinner and enjoying themselves, and the friendship that has developed amongst us, I can’t help but have this warmth in my heart and assurance that all my effort has been worth it.

Hope you all had a lovely Mother’s Day! I certainly did.

The husband and I had a “surprise” date on Saturday evening. Surprise .. because we did not plan to go out by ourselves that night. Somehow my mother-in-law volunteered to have the boys stay over at her home on Saturday night and so suddenly we were free! We had a great night out. We also had a little celebration with R’s parents in the evening at their home. It was a very pleasant family time. Thank God for family.

The boys did various gifts for me at school and day care. Calvin gave me a tea towel which he hand-printed and dyed at school. I love it. Athan did a little heart mobile for me — with lots of help pf course. The husband bought a pot of flowers for me (I chose it). I feel so special. However, one thing that touched me most was what Calvin “wrote” on why he loved his mother.

It was part of the mother’s day activity in class where the kids each have to cut out their own picture and 2 heart shapes. On one of the hearts, they were asked to say/write why they loved their mums. Calvin said and the teacher wrote:

“I love my mum because she goes to work to get money for us. She plays matching game with me and cooks my favourite vegetables.”

Touched because I did not realise he has been observing what’s going on at home on a daily basis. Even though he seems to be only interested in playing with his toys the moment we got home from school or after school care, he is well aware of what’s happening at the background. I think he appreciates that I cook so that everyone can have dinner. He’s always hungry when we get home and can’t wait to have his dinner. However, he has learnt to wait patiently while his mum “cooks his favourite vegetables.” And, this morning when I dropped the boy at school, I went into his class with him to spend a little time before the teacher rang the bell. I saw a craft that Calvin did for mother’s day hanging on a string. It was a picture of a big pot of roses where the roses were hand-printed and on the pot, he said and the teacher wrote

“My mum is good at drawing fish. She goes to work and cooks dinner for me. She likes to watch news and play matching games with me. She likes to eat vegetables.”

And so, now I know a little of what my 5.5-year-old thinks of me By the way, in a book that the teacher made in class for the kids to say how old their mothers are, my son said I am 77! Gee… the boy used to say I am 15!

During those past weeks leading up to my super busy week last month(had to do 3 presentations), I remembered talking about my stress, my worries, my inadequacies etc to my friends at church and to the mothers that I know well at Calvin’s class. They were all very understanding and sympathetic towards me. Was I looking for sympathy? No, not really. I just wanted to talk! I am a woman, you see. Anyway, I just wanted to share that I found great encouragement in talking to my friends who supported me the whole time, in particular, the words of 2 particular friends stuck in my mind till now.

The first friend said:”Well, you must have done enough work in order to be asked to do a presentation. It is a good sign”. She works in a scientific research field and so she understood exactly what I was going through. The second friend said:”wow, you must feel very useful to be asked to do so many presentations!”. She is a stay-at-home mum. Somehow these words just stuck in my head. I find it interesting how other people can see the positive things out of my situation while I can only see the the negative. Honestly, at that time, all I could think of was complaining! That attitude has to change, I think. I am thankful to my friends for helping me to think positive and outside my own square. I needed that. Thanks ladies!

Still on thinking outside the square, I was viewing my 5.5-year-old school portfolio end of last term when I spotted a very interesting “concept”. The teacher had printed a list of different shapes on a page for the kids to identify. When the shape was a hexagon, Calvin identified it as “a pointy circle”. And, when the shape was semi-circle, the boy said it was a “moon”. One can easily guess why, I think. I have to say I was concerned he did not know the name of the shapes, but the father thought the boy was not entirely wrong! You be the judge.

Usually, our little family takes a trip somewhere during the Easter long weekend (Friday - Monday). However, this year has been a little different. For starters, the husband was away in Canberra for a few days by himself. And then one of the boys, the older one had gastro. Yikes! Of all types of illnesses they boys have had, I have to say gastro is my worst “enemy”. It is very contagious and dirty!

Calvin was complaining about a tummy ache throughout Good Friday. He seemed well enough though. We even had his friend and family over for a meal and play date. It turned out to be a really lovely evening. And then on Saturday, he began to have diarrhea. Many times. I was so worried that Mr A would catch the bug and he did! *sigh* I practically spent the day cleaning bottoms, soiled pants and disinfecting toilets … *sorry about the details* :). Thank God that there was no vomiting or fever or any other symptom or else it would be very difficult for me to handle the boys on my own. God is good. He knows.

The boys were not too sick. They could still play and manage little meals. I was ever so grateful. By Sunday, they were a lot better although not 100% and so we stayed home for another day. And then the husband came home! The boys were very happy to see their dad and could not stop asking where he went and what he did …..

While packing the boys’ room over the weekend, I found this:

Calvin must have made it during one of his Sunday school lessons at church. I was immediately reminded of Jesus death and His resurrection — the true meaning of Easter. I love how the boy has coloured the cross — it is so colourful. This little piece of art work is now sitting on our fridge so that we can be reminded of Christ’s death for us daily. I have also made Calvin memorised the bible verse. I hope he can remember it always.

Monday is my day with Athan.  Usually, we will drop Calvin at school in the morning and then we are off to the gym class.  After that, we can decide what to do together — grocery shopping, to the park, library — lots of options.  I love the time with with my little boy.  He usually has his best behaviour on. :)  However, today has been a little different as I had to stay home to finish off my presentation for the next 2 days.  And so, the husband brought the boy to the gym.

When they came home, Athan was still so full of energy.  He came running to me to show me the little certificate he got from the gym class.  He has finished a term of gym class! And then he looked eagerly at me with anticipation. I knew he was expecting me to bring him somewhere fun.  I felt really bad to disappoint him, but I had to gently tell him that I had to work today and that I needed him to play by himself for a while.  Surprisingly, he agreed.  He really did.  He entertained himself with my pens and paper after he got tired with his toys. He even took the pens apart and tried to put the pieces back together. What fun. I had to help him in the end, but it was fun watching him trying to solve a problem.

Then when Robin was having his  lunch and watching some lunchtime T.V, the boy sat himself on the couch waiting for the show to start! However, it was also nearly time for his nap.  He knew it, but he kept ignoring me. I had to physically remove him from the couch as he would not move.  He even tried to negotiate with me.  This was what he said: “我要陪爸爸 5 minutes 才睡, 可以嗎？” (I want to accompany papa for 5 minutes before going to bed, ok?). I was a little speechless as I did not expect such negotiation technique from my 3-year-old. Accompany his dad? As if the father needed company … Well, I relented. After about 5 minutes, Mr A really did go down for his nap — for 2 hours.

This evening after dinner, while Calvin was practising his handwriting — writing numbers and his name, Mr A had this to say (while I was feeding him his dinner) to his brother: “good writing, Calvin!”, “good job, Calvin!”and “no! you write wrongly!” He even had the eraser in his hand ready to rub off what he thought was written wrongly. *sigh* He was imitating me. He did sound very much like me though. :)  Mr C was not impressed at all.  He had this annoyed look on his face that seemed to say “do you actually know what I have written wrongly, little brother?” I just sat there enjoying the moment and laughing to myself.

Such is a day with Mr A.  Always full of interesting conversations and surprises. Thank God.

I am without a voice today. I am also on sick leave today. That is why, I am writing yet another post here to give myself a distraction.  I’ve been working at home all day you see…..

I seldom fall sick, thanks be to God.  However, when I do get sick on the odd occasion, I do get quite sick. Like now. I have been coughing for the past week and suddenly, the cough got worse last night and this morning.  And then, I lost my voice totally.  Nasty.

When the boys realised that I could not talk like normal, and had to whisper, this is what I get:

The little one looked at me with his cheeky little smile and said or rather whispered back to me “媽媽，為什麼你沒有聲音？” (mama, why don’t you have a voice?) I could only smiled at him.

The older boy was full of concern — this is they way he is — he is always very sensitive towards me.  Last night, when I was coughing madly and had a bad headache, and could not read to him, he said in his worried voice “mum, you have a headache and cough, I don’t want you to get sick. You need to see a doctor tomorrow, I think.” So adult-like, ya? I was touched by his concern and reassured him that I would be fine.  This morning when I was contemplating whether I should go into work, Mr C said “mum, if you are sick, you should stay at home, ok?” Following that he said:” mum, your friends will laugh at you when they see you talk this way! You should stay at home.” I was so very amused by my 5-year-old. Really amused.

The husband has been a great help today.  He took care of the boys so that I could rest. Bliss. When he came back from school, he told me out of the blue that we are very blessed to have the 2 (very precious)boys.  We have to bring them up well, by God’s grace and in God’s way. He is so right.

It was early morning. I was in the bathroom when I thought I heard Calvin talking to his brother in their room (their room is right next to the bathroom). It sounded like Calvin was instructing Athan to do something. Then I heard “then you put your leg over like this …”!  And, I was alarmed!

Mr C was giving Mr A instructions to climb down from his cot! Before I could rush to their room, I heard a big loud thud on the floor followed by screaming. I was too late. Mr A has fallen from his cot while trying to climb down. Thank God he did not hurt his head or had any serious injury except for his left leg that had hit a toy truck which was on the floor. No damage done. I was relieved and very thankful.

After much *interrogation* by the husband, Mr C admitted to instructing Mr A to climb down from his cot. He obviously did not realise the danger.  All he wanted was for his brother to come down from his bed and play with him. He was very very sorry, we could see that on his face. He even promised he won’t do it again.

After thought: I guess it is time to move Athan to a mattress on the floor like Calvin. This will prevent future problems. Yes, we still keep Athan in his cot (mean parents :)).

After the drama, it was back to our busy morning routine. As for our Mr A, he was back to his usual happy self.

Calvin’s Valentine’s Day craft from school.

This was what Calvin presented me (it was also for the father) when I picked him up at school yesterday. At a closer look, I think I love what he has done!

I was quick to ask him how he made the big heart, in particular how he managed to glue all the little pink muffin cases on it. After much pestering from me, the boy told me that everyone had to make one for their parents.  First, they had to cut the big heart shape from an outline on paper. Then they painted the heart red followed by decorating it in whatever manner they wished.  He chose to glue the cases along the outline of the heart but apparently the darker pink cases ran out and so he had to use the light pink ones. And, he emphasised that he thought of the design and he glued the cases all by himself.  I was proud of him. Really. He has done such a great job. He has a good sense of colour as well, I think.  He probably has inherited this trait from the father.

This year’s Chinese New Year happens to fall on the same day as Valentine’s Day. What a coincidence. Celebrations over here is limited. I missed all the good times I had during Chinese New Year when I was growing up in Singapore.  I wish one day the boys can get to celebrate this festive season in Singapore and Malaysia. We do still try our best to celebrate over here with our chinese friends.  We have two dinners lined up this weekend –  one at R’s sister home and the other with church friends. I am looking forward to all the good food and company.

Here’s wishing all our chinese friends and family a very Happy Chinese New Year! Hope you all have a great time with family.

The new term of school has finally started for Calvin.  He just can’t wait to go to school!  I pray and hope he will feel the same way about school 5 years later.

He is in pre-primary this year, just next door to his previous class.  He can still see his former teachers whom he loves.  In fact, he kept saying he wanted to go back to Mrs D’s (kindy teacher) class! Thank goodness his friends from last year are all in the same class as him this year.  This helps. To help the children adjust to the new routine (5 full days of school now) as well as helping the teachers to get to know them better, the class has been split into 2 groups on the first day of school. The first group has the morning session while the second has the afternoon session. Calvin has been assigned to the afternoon session (12.30pm - 3.10pm).

We were nice and early on the first day of school.  He was excited, but went all quiet when we met his new teachers Miss B and Mrs J. He was quietly observing his new teachers and new environment — very typical of Calvin (he has been this way since he was a baby). When the bell rang, a cue for the parents to leave, I looked at my boy who looked back at me and said “I won’t cry, mum”.  He seemed to know I was going to ask him whether he was going to cry. I felt very emotional at that moment and at the same time, I was so proud of my little boy! He seemed to have grown up all of a sudden. I knew he would do just fine in his new class and I left.

The rest of the week will be half-day school, slowly building up to full day every day over the next 2 weeks.  I know Calvin will take time to adjust to his new routine, he will be quiet for the first term, he probably will be teary at times when I leave him  etc etc. BUT I also know that he will eventually get used to the new routine, new teachers, new classrooms and make new friends. If you can, do pray for my little boy. Thanks.

 p.s: I did not take any photo because I have left the camera R’s car!

With the frequency of the boys falling sick (as they attend day care) some friends are curious as to whether R and I fall sick every time when the boys are sick. The answer to that is no. We are blessed in that way, in that we only very occasionally catch the virus from the boys (often in winter). Thank God for that.  I have to admit though, it is very hard to protect ourselves from falling sick especially when we have been coughed on, sneezed on, puked on and even soiled on.  We try our best to *disinfect* ourselves by washing hands frequently. I believe God knows we cannot afford to be sick!

If you are reading this and are thinking of having a child of your own one day, please do not be scared by what I have just said.  Taking care of sick kids is never easy, but the sickness is only temporary.  The long term happiness and joy that they bring make it all worth it. It is all part of the fun of being a parent! Well, do I sound like I am a mother of 10 children? :)  Well, no, I am not. Fact is, I am still on a very steep learning curve when it comes to parenting.  I am merely repeating what a wise Christian lady from church shared with me when I told her how hard things can get when the boys are sick. Her words are really encouraging. They have picked me up.

Just this morning, when I was busy changing sheets for the boys and busy dusting their room, Mr A came to me pushing his toy truck and said”mum, I am going to work, bye!”. I turned around, looked at him and said “OK, bye!”. Before running off, he said “I earn money for papa, mama and gor gor (big brother)”. To which I replied “OK, make sure you have some money for yourself too!”. With that the happy boy ran off.  How cute is that? Got to love what comes out of that little boy’s mouth. He is feeling a lot better this morning as the fever has gone.  He is back to his usual self again.  I’m glad.

Still talking about Mr A, the husband thought I should share about the experience I had at the clinic yesterday. Well,  I made an appointment for Athan to see a GP to check his lungs etc yesterday morning. The father and Calvin decided to tag along too. After a long wait, the doctor came and called Athan’s name.  Only the boy and me went in. What a mistake. Once inside the doctor’s room, Athan became very very serious and quiet.  When the doctor took out his stethoscope wanting to listen to his lungs, the boy began to scream at the top of his lungs no! no! no! no! no! ….. non stop. For no apparent reason! He was struggling violently on my lap trying to escape. Perhaps he thought the doctor was going to hurt him? The kind doctor then gave him a lollipop which immediately stopped the screaming for a moment, and when the stethoscope re-appeared, the no! no! no! screaming started again. This time, he even threw the lollipop away! What fear did he have? The doctor?  Or the stethoscope? I really wondered.  We tried to reassure him there won’t be any pain, but only in vain. At that moment, I wished R would suddenly appear in the room and help me restrain the boy. But he did not. And so, I decided that I have to pin the boy down on my lap and let the GP do his job.  With patience and great skills, the doctor managed to check his throat, listen to his lungs, both front and back as well as check his ear, both left and right. It was hard work. I was sure everyone outside the room could hear the screaming. When the check ended, the boy stopped screaming, instantly. And, he even picked up the lollipop and asked me to unwrap it. *sigh* By the way, the check showed no sign of infection. Thank God.

When we came out of the doctor’s room, R asked if the screaming was from Athan.  I related the whole deafening experience to him and he just laughed!  He just could not get over Athan screaming “no!” to the stethoscope.  He found Athan’s reaction funny! I told him as well that I wished he was there to help restrain Athan, to which he replied that he knew I could handle the boy. Oh, what confidence he had in me! Well, fact is the husband has always have confidence in me.