Having time to write in this space has become a challenge ever since I started work. You’ve probably noticed that I don’t update as often now and if I do, I post multiple entries and they are usually short writings. I will keep writing because I know that my sisters are regular readers of our blog and they want to keep up with our happenings, and I also know that friends have been reading our blog too. Thanks to those of you who have written personal emails to encourage me. I really appreciate that.

I still find it hard to switch my mind from work to family when I get home, especially after a busy day at work. I wish I can have a little time for myself to recharge before I deal with the boys. Unfortunately, this is not something that is feasible at the moment mainly due to the time factor. And because of this, I find myself lacking in patience when the boys are demanding when they see me (which is understandable). On a bad day, I snap at them for which I feel really guilty afterwards. I pray that God will give me that extra patience and love for the boys. Having say that, I have to add that not all working days are stressful and busy. There are good days when I find myself full of energy and looking forward to seeing my boys and giving them a big cuddle when I get home.

As for my work, things are going at full speed now. The project that I am involved in now is at its peak and there’s a lot to be done. The work itself is quite interesting and important as the results from my findings will help with the water and land management in a local catchment area. This project is a collaboration between my group and another division, and this has given me a good opportunity to work with researchers of a different discipline. Besides this project, I am also working on some finishing touches on a journal paper with my ex-phd supervisor. I have been kept very busy at work and my 2.5 days per week of work is not enough. *sigh* I do have to stay back to catch up on things from time to time. That’s another struggle that I have. More about this at another post.

The boys are down with cough and cold. Both of them. At the same time. *sigh*

Calvin seems to have a worse case of runny nose than Athan, while the little boy has a worse cough than his big brother. The cough is phlegmy. Yikes! There’s no fever though, and thank God, both are not too cranky from the illness. They still eat rather well and play rather well, but sleep has been a problem for Athan. He has been crying and this leads to coughing and more crying etc. I think his cough is causing him discomfort. Poor boy. He has just recovered from his fever drama and now he is sick again. I hope he will get well soon. We really miss his cheerful self.

I was listening to “Focus on the family” on the radio again on the way home from work. The topic was about how as parents, our emotions can affect our children. The guy said that when we, as parents feel sad or angry or happy etc, our children (like radar) can pick up our emotions and react to it. They are very capable of acting out when we shout, yell, scream, snap at them — all the big and *bad* emotions. So, next time when our children behave badly, we should do a emotional check on ourselves before we punish them. On the other hand, when we are happy and cheerful, they can sense it and they are happy too.

One suggestion: when we are feeling the big bad emotions, we should walk away, get out of the house and go for a walk. Or better still, bring the kids to the park and play with them. That will help. I can attest to that.

Unfortunately, Athan’s fever did not settle. His temperature was, on the other hand, on the rise for the past 2 days instead of settling. The boy was getting very very cranky and he was crying a lot which really stressed me out. We were getting worried and suspected that the fever might not be due to the immunisation. He might have caught some virus somewhere ….. so the trip to the doctor was necessary.

The GP reckoned the fever was unlikely to be due to the needles as fever and other side effects usually start 5-12 days after the immunisation whereas in Athan’s case, it was the next day, and also, the temperature was too high and lasted for too many days. A viral infection was more likely the cause of the fever. Well, it was really unfortunate that Athan caught a virus somewhere and was immunised at the same time. The poor boy really suffered. I really wished we had not bring him to the clinic for the needles last Monday. Oh well….

On the brighter side of things, Athan is better today. His temperature has dropped, hanging around 38 deg cel. He is less cranky and eating better. Thank God.

Athan had his 12-month immunisation on Monday. Robin brought him to the clinic and I was told later that the boy received 3 needles — one on each arm and one on his left thigh. Ouch. There was screaming at the last 2 needles. We were advised of the possible side effects — fever, body rash, loss of appetite etc. Athan was fine on Monday, but fever started to set in yesterday. He was still chirpy yesterday though despite the fever (low grade), but he was really cranky today. He still has the fever and he is very irritable. He cried a lot when I put him to bed a while ago. I felt sorry for him. Poor boy. But this is something he has to go through and I know he will be fine soon. Let’s hope tomorrow will be a better day for him.

The other day while I was driving home from work, I heard a short and interesting segment on a local radio channel. The segment was called “Focus on the family”. It said statistics have shown that parents who have 2 or more children tend to have a higher risk of getting high blood pressure and heart disease and some other nasty diseases. The main cause was found to be the lifestyle. When I heard this, I was all ears to what the guy had to say. Why? Because whenever I have a bad day with the boys I always say to my husband that my lifespan will be shortened by 5 – 10 years! I really felt that way, and I know I most likely say it at an impulse, and I probably did not think it will happen to me. So, when I heard the broadcast, I suddenly realised that it is serious business. Parents do suffer in health if they do not take care of it. The guy went on to say that such statistics does not mean people should stop having kids, but that they should take care of their health from day one. Parents tend to neglect their health in many ways, like having poor diet or having little or no regular exercise. I have to admit I am guilty of that, especially the latter. I better start looking after myself.

I have been back to work for 3 weeks now. What’s the hardest thing? I have to say it is hardest when both boys are clingy and want my attention at the same time when I return home from work. It is perhaps natural for them to feel this way since they have not seen me for the whole day. I wish I can attend to them both at the same time, but I usually can’t. One of them will end up crying for a little while I try to appease the other. It is draining because I’m already tired from work and my patience is wearing thin by then, and yet I have to control myself not to shout at them. That’s hard work. I’ve got to pray for more patience and strength.

On the brighter side of things, the boys seem to have settled down into their new routine quite well. Athan had a tough first week when I first went back to work. He was not used to my mother-in-law and her home. He cried at nap times, at bath time (which he loves), at nappy changing time etc. Poor thing. He was not happy. Things changed for the better this week. When I arrived to pick him up after work, I found him crawling happily and playing happily with my mum-in-law. He whinged a little when he saw me, but my mum-in-law managed to appease him. That’s a great improvement. As for Calvin, he is very used to his child care place now and so the change did not affect him much. The thing that he was not used to is seeing me leave the house for work in the morning and he is not coming with me. It took him a while to understand that he can’t follow me when I go to work. These days, when I leave the house for work in the morning, he says to me “bye ma ma! see you next week!”. I guess he does not understand what “next week” means yet. 🙂 He is also doing great at 3-yr-old kindy. Thank God. He looks forward to going to *school* and he always tell me “Calvin hen guai, mei you ku (calvin has been good, no crying). One other thing that he loves about going to school is his lunch bag. For some reason, he is very excited about eating lunch from his own lunch box and with his friends. He watches me when I pack his lunch in the morning and he even tells me what to put in the bag. 🙂 As for Robin, I think he is doing great too. He takes care of Athan on Mondays and cooks dinner on the days that I work. I really appreciate the help.

Work wise, things are picking up at my work place. The project that I am involved in is picking up on speed and so in a way it has helped me to get my drive back. Some days are still hard to get into the right mindset for work, and remember the science and statistics that I used to know. This is something I need to work hard on. Thank God that the first meeting I had with our collaborators for the project went really well. There’s more work ahead and probably more stress too *sigh*. That’s working life. Well, one step at a time, one day at a time. That’s how I am going to deal with my work.

I’ll write about other issues at another post. For now, do please continue to pray for us. Thanks to those of you who have written personal emails to me to encourage me. I really appreciate it.