A quick post to say that the long silence in this space is due to me being away on a work trip to Sydney this week.  The work, both at home and office that was needed to to be done before the trip took up all my time and hence the silence here.  I have now returned from the trip and am so glad to be home with my boys! Looking forward to telling stories here again ….

We attended a talk/seminar recently at our church entitled “Men and woman: celebrating the difference”.  The pastor was American, and he worked as a counsellor for his home church, specialising in relationship problems amongst couples.

He started by sharing a recent experience he had with his wife.  They were on their way home from a function and the wife began to talk about how beautiful everything was and how she liked the way the dessert was presented — nice cutlery, napkin, decoration etc.  The husband found himself having nothing to say about the beauty of the dessert because all he remembered was eating the dessert! And, he asked the audience “who remembered what napkins were  used and what colour”? We all laughed.  We could identify with that sharing.  The pastor continued by referring us to the book of Genesis in the bible when God created Adam and then Eve.  He explained very clearly that each creation has its own God intended purpose.  The female is in no way inferior to the man because she was also created in the image of God. Male and females are created differently to fulfill different roles. However, after the fall, this gender difference has caused many problems such as communication between husband and wife, divorce etc.

The pastor went on to say that men generally find significance in their work.  There is a strong need for men to work and provide for the family and at times, the men tend to over-work and neglect the family.  They want to be respected too. The women, on the other hand, is relational. She values relationships and looks for security and affirmation of words and love from her husband. By understanding from the bible how God has created men and women differently and how each gender needs to be fulfilled, it helps to prevent a lot of marital problems, especially in communication.

I have also read somewhere about how (married) men and (married) women are different when it comes to their understanding of being loved by the other.  Men generally feel loved by spending quality time with their wives and from physical affection.  Women, on the hand generally requires affirmation of words and by acts of service by their husbands (helping out at home with kids, housework etc.  Leaving these true feelings unspoken can cause many problems in the marriage. How true.

I have to admit it has not been easy for myself and Robin when it comes to communication and understanding of each other in our marriage.  It is through time, arguments, lots of honest talking, perseverance and the grace of God that our marriage can be sustained till now.  There is a lot to learn still, and a long road ahead of us, God willing.  Like parenting, marriage requires a lot of hard work.

In recognising the difference between men and women, we were urged to humble ourselves before our spouse and to embrace the difference between us so that we can truly celebrate the difference as God has intended.

This is what I had today! Beautiful, isn’t it?

I had such a lovely time with the ladies from church today.  Someone turned 30 today.  I was so glad and thankful to be part of the celebrations. Including myself, there were 11 of us at the long table. We chatted, laughed real hard, ate, drank tea, chatted some more …. — all without the kids.  It was good to be able to concentrate on having a conversation with the girls without being distracted by the kids, even if it was only for a few hours.  We were at the restaurant for a whole 3 hours. Time just flew past us.

It was also good to be able to catch up with the ladies in a relaxed social setting.  We hardly have chance or time to talk after church service. The ladies were so keen to come out and have a good time. We will be going out again, I think.:)

The other day at my mother’s group, I shared one of my favourite daily readings with the ladies.  It was taken from a book entitled “A Godward Life” by John Piper.  The main message of the reading was that “Today’s mercies are for today’s troubles. Tomorrow’s mercies are for tomorrow’s troubles”. (quote from the book) The references for this passage was taken from 2 bible verses:

1) Matthew 6:34

“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

2) Lamentations 3:22-23

[22] The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end;
[23] they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.

I found these verses very reassuring. Our sharing and subsequent praying time was also very encouraging.  It was a good reminder for all of us that God gives us enough mercy to go through each day and he gives new mercies for tomorrow’s challenges.  At times, being a mother with young children can be very tough.  We not only worry about the children, but we also worry about finances, relationships, housework, jobs etc.  The list is endless.  These worries can really weigh us down if we let them.  That’s why we really need good like minded friends to be around us to remind us of God’s promises and to pray with us.  I am thankful to have a group of mothers whom I share and pray with.  They bring me a lot of encouragement. Thank you, my friends!

It’s August already.  I have not been writing in this space for a while because ……

First, I have been learning to use a new image editor software.  The previous software that I used to churn out pictures to post in this blog is no longer available to me and so I am being *forced* to learn a new software.  I have to say I am not very good at using all the features and I have to ask the husband for help a lot or look up help files which for most times, confuse me even more! Anyway, I believe I am getting there.  It is always good to learn something new.  I’ll be posting pictures again, soon.

Second, the flu bug has been going around the house yet again.  Athan had it first, and then the husband caught it.  He had sore throat and fever — he was so afraid that he had H1N1, but it wasn’t. Thank God.  And then, Calvin caught a stomach bug last week.  He complained of a headache after church and it did not go away after his nap.  I was concerned, but not too worried at that time.  By dinner, the headache was gone, but he could not eat anything.  It was so unlike him — one who loves his food.  I knew something was wrong.  And then he threw up.

We immediately separate the boys — I took Calvin to the after hours (Sunday evening) GP near our home while Robin looked after Mr A at home.  The wait at the clinic was soooooooo long! We arrived 10 minutes after it was opened and already we were told the waiting time was 1-2 hrs! What?  I thought of leaving and going to another clinic, but I realised that other hospitals and clinics were just as packed.  Unfortunately, it was the time of the year (mid winter) where the flu was at its peak. So, we waited.

Calvin threw up several times before it was his turn to see the doctor.  Poor fellow.  He looked so weak and miserable.  He had a fever too.  Eventually, his name was called and after a check, the doctor announced that Calvin had a viral gastro and it was not H1N1.  The doctor was confident that Calvin would feel better the next day.  I was relieved, thank God.  Calvin was back to his normal self 2 days later.

As for me, I am still going strong.  Just can’t imagine what it would be like if I were to be ill at the same time as the boys.  That’s really God’s mercy for us. I really hope that the boys will be ill-free for a long time. I am also looking forward to next month because it will be spring time then!

I was catching up with a friend on the phone this afternoon.  We talked about a number of things — from church to kids to work to cooking etc. And then. I mentioned to her the things that I struggled with constantly.

I struggled with the fact that I am only a 50% mum to the boys and 50% worker at work.  I can’t seem to do well in anything.  I am frustrated at times. Then she said to me “well, for the rest of the percentage, God will send His blessings”. That has really impressed me. I have never thought of my own situation in this way. I only see the negative. She continued to say that I have good boys and that’s evident of God’s blessing.  Wow. That has definitely set me thinking, thinking about how God has put me in my current circumstance and how He has really blessed me despite my shortcomings. I really have forgotten God’s goodness towards me.

Thank you, my friend, for reminding me God’s faithfulness and goodness.  I am encouraged.

One morning while the boys were having breakfast at the dining table and Robin and I were standing around the kitchen bench, Calvin made this observation:

Calvin: Papa, you are very tall.

Robin: Yup.

Calvin: Mama, you are a little short.

Me: So, who is the shortest?

Calvin: Didi (Athan).

Me: What about you?

Calvin: I am a little bit tall. (grinning away)

By the way, he is never short, only a little bit tall! 🙂

It’s been a while since I have time for this space.  I have been very busy over the last few weeks, especially those days leading towards the end of June — end of financial year.  I was working almost every night trying to finish up reports, papers, annual performance review etc.  I was really tired, but thank God that the boys were well and Robin was helping heaps with everything.   He was supportive and understanding.  Things have slowed down a little since the last day of June, and so I am back!

Just want to share a little prayer that my almost 5 year old boy prayed this evening before going to bed:

“Dear God, thank you for my papa, mama and didi(Athan). Please help my mama to drive well. Help her to get to work not too late because it is not good. Please don’t send the rain because it is wet and dark and we can’t see anything. In Jesus’ name we pray Amen”.

That’s it.

I thanked my little boy and he said “you are very welcome, mama!”

I just smiled and I felt so blessed all of a sudden by this boy.  Thank God for Calvin.

As you can tell, we tend to be late to get out of the door each morning(especially on his kindy days), and I always tell him it is not good to be late. And, it has been raining quite heavily of late.  He has noticed the squally wind, dark sky and very wet ground and cars on headlights in the morning.  He is concerned with my driving as I always tell him on days like these that I need to concentrate on the road and so he has to be very quiet.  He knows and understands.

On another occasion, Calvin was dressed in his new sweater which he happened to like very much.  He thanked me saying: ” thank you mama for buying new clothes for me.”  I jokingly replied that I buy all the nice clothes for him and Athan and nothing for myself.  To which my little guy replied: ” I like your top too, mum, it’s nice”.  Sweet ya?